well, what can I say. Christmas this year was a roller coaster ride from hell. Let me tell you why. First off – 2 days before christmas, the love of my life and myself cried when we found out that she couldnt come up here for christmas cause of her truck’s brake line broke. so we opened up 2 presents each day til christmas day via skype. then christmas day – i went to go get my son and got the riot act so bad that i cried all of the way home. then got to see my mom and dad on christmas day with my son and then we came home to my gf waiting on skype for us to open up the rest of the presents and presents for my son.
Spend each day with my son, took him to see Frozen 3D, and then he got to spend plenty of time with my friends and me. My GF was always seeing him on skype every night. He is even starting to call my GF – Mommy. that just makes feel so good about my life and how it is all working out.
I was supposed to have him til January 5th, but due to a funeral on my ex’s hubby’s side, they came down to CB to get him to take him home. All of the way there he cried crocodile tears cause he didnt want to go home, he wanted to stay with me. What do you say to that, to make a child happy? Nothing cause there is nothing you can say to that.
So now 2014 will be MY year. My year to finish Massage School. My year to spend with my GF. My year to change my name to what it needs to be. And My year to shine as Isabella Renee McKean.
Welcome to MY year – 2014. The Year of Bella!!!
I am completely in love with a beautiful woman. She completes me in more ways than anyone else has ever done. Our second time together has passed and 2 more wonderful days together. This time we got pictures done of us together and they turned out wonderful. The person taking them is also editing the pictures so more will follow soon with her edits. But I couldnt wait to share…….so here is sharing the love of my life, the woman of my dreams……
Truly dreams come true and prayers are answered, because I have truly found the one to complete me.
We have been talking for three months online, skype, phone and taking it one day at a time. We got to know each other, talking about everything that makes each other who they are. She accepts me and I accept her. We have done everything and anything under the sun. We even planned her coming up here to live with me, but when she was planning and packing, she got a very good manager’s job at a fast food restaurant. So those plans went out the window.
Finally, the time we both needed. She had 2 days off in a row so we planned on her coming up for a visit and it was the best time of my life. We met after i got off of work at my first job and then we had lunch, then got a motel, tested out the bed and the durability of how waterproof the sheets were and then she came with me to school. They all met her and then we went shopping and then back to the motel for more bed testing and sleep.
The next day, we went to see my mom so she could meet my mom and then we watched a movie together – Last Vegas. Then she watched another movie – Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 in 3d while i was working and then i got off early and we went and had dinner and tested the massage table and the bed once again.
The best time of my life followed by the time where i didnt want it to end. Tears flowed from my eyes not only when I had to leave her but when I had to come back to get something I forgot and she had a note inside the box asking me to be her girlfriend officially. It is usually me that asks first but she did and i was shocked and truly in love.
Now i have so much to look forward to. She is coming back twice in december, once for 2 days and the other for 3 days (including christmas). Our first christmas together as a couple. And….i found a new place to stay. So no hotel/motel needed.
Things REALLY are looking up for me. The sky IS the limit now.
See…we do look good together.
It is an amazing thing,
it has so many powers.
it brings hope when you need it,
it can bring people together,
it can possibly will you to heal your wounds,
But it can also be the cause of destruction.
Cause love – unconditional love is very powerful
it needs to shine between 2 people.
The stronger it gets, the harder it is to break.
Both of the people need to express it, to say it, to show it.
When only one shows it,
it is like a half filled cup that never gets filled up.
Cant 2 people have the same love for each other?
I now know and it is great.
Love is a powerful thing that I get to share with my someone special.
Well it has been a long time since i have talked to everyone about what has been going on. The reason….there has been a lot going on.
My mom took a turn for the worse and had to be admitted into the hospital for 2 months. She had a hiatal hernia that caused her stomach to go through the diaphragm and into the esophagus. After at least 7 surgeries and almost losing her on the surgery table she pulled through. She moved from the hospital to a rehabilitation center to now the same nursing home that my dad got into to.
So now mom and dad are back together again.
That is one thing that went on since we last talked.
but wait…..there’s more.
What once were best friends and considered family, turned out to be someone to stab me in the back in the long run. Rose and Dane, they were like part of my family, i brought Rose when she had no place to go and she stayed with us, til her new bf/fiancee from ohio came here. Then we had good times til we had to move out. We found a place to live and things were going well, then they said..no internet til you pay rent. Hmm, when they were staying with me, they didnt pay any rent. So I didnt want to stay there with nothing to do. Oh, you can help out around the house, hmmm nope, what you want me to do is to clean and be your maid while you sit and do jack shit.
So I got a second job – 11.50 an hr 40 hours a week. When I called to tell them, they were like, congrats, now move out and I owe them 600.00. Where is the logic in kicking out the only person with not only 1 job but 2 jobs, making almost 2 grand a month, only one with a van. Can anyone tell me the explanation to that logic?
So I am staying with a classmate from school. They are very welcoming and understanding. Got bigger news come the next post.
Why do people say they are family but turn out to be against me in every way. That isnt family for me. So until they prove they want to be friends and show me just what family really is, they wont get back into my life.
Things will get better, you will see.
What do I say to bring you up to speed on everything that has been happening to me since my last post. Alot has been going on, many things change and many things have not. New challenges have been taken upon and alot have been accomplished or just dropped off.
First off, I have to get this off my chest so it doesnt build up anymore.
My decisions on what I am doing with my life is MY decisions and no one can change that. No matter what anyone says, it wont change how i feel and who I know i am inside. I am sick and tired of people telling me how to live my life, if you dont like what I am doing, deal with it cause i wont change. I am tired of crying, I am tired of hurting. I am not going to hurt or cry anymore. This is my life, get over it. Either like it, or leave it.
Now that I got that off of my chest.
Lets get to the past few months.
Well, not much has really gone on. Still working at the theater, been there for almost 2 and a half years, i have been seeing lots of movies, and taking care of Mom and Dad and Rose. Been seeing lots of movies at the theater and even went on a trip to almost ohio to get Rose’s boyfriend but that was unsuccessful due to the situation at his place. But now he is here and everyone is so much happier.
As far as my well being, i am trying to survive the best way I can, but I have something good to report. After it has taken over a year to set up, I am now back in school. I am currently going to school for Massage Therapy. I am going to become a massage therapist. After the 1 year diploma, I will also take the extra 6 to 8 months to go for the associates degree in Therapeutic Massage. I also am trying to become a part time assistant manager at the movie theater. I hope i get it cause it would help boost my ego and i can believe in myself easier.
I want to include a poem I wrote recently for someone special, the person it was written for will know who they are.
As the soft soothing sounds whisper into my ears,
the stress and pain begin to slip away.
The troubles, the worries, the fears,
begin to float and drift away.
The Darkness that has been so close for so long,
begins to fade as the light begins to dawn.
What is my path, where is it leading?
What keeps my heart beating?
One Star, One wish, so true,
All that leads up to You.
Hope, courage, dreams are alive now
confidence grows and goals are achieved.
The pain that is given by others are healed
While the memories still remain
only til new ones are made.
Life can shine, dreams can sparkle
but only with the right guidance and wisdom
Love is the bond, love is the glue
Love brings together me and you.
So, has life gotten better, in some ways, yes. New goals to achieve, new paths to go down, new additions to my support team. New challenges to beat. Who knows what lies in the darkness, who knows what will happen in our lives, but if i stand up for what I believe in, for who I am, no one is ever going to bring me down again.
I will do another post on current situations that are going on at this moment.
Isabella – Twilight Kitty
So, i asked Cassidy and Tyler about what i should do with my hair and I see that they gave me good advice on what colors to get. So i got what they suggested and then last night they came over and started to color my hair. And after 2 applications of the vampire red hair color from Manic Panic and the attempt at bleaching certain strands for blonde highlights that ….didnt…..quite turn blonde. Here is the end result. i think you will like it. I know i do and i look DAMN hot now. Take that BITCHES!!! Giggles
Yesterday i was woken up by my best friend Rose. She was in a lot of pain and having really bad girly issues. So i took her to the clinic to get seen, and after an hour, they said, oh sorry, we cant see you for 3 weeks. Well with her girly issues which is very heavy bleeding, she would be dead before they saw her. So I took her to UNMC and went to the ER. that was about 10am. After 2 pelvic exams, and an ultrasound done, she is going to have a procedure done where she wont have these periods anymore.
The waiting is what killed me, not knowing what would happen, if she was going to get help, how long would she continue to bleed, if i was going to lose my best friend. It is what you would do for your friend that makes a difference in their life, that is what matters.
Her and I have known each other for 6 years now, and now that we are together in the same city, we help each other out and really be the bestest friends we can be for each other. A shoulder to cry on, two arms to hug each other with, a heart to care for each other.
Rose, my friend.
thank you for being you.